Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2019-03-16 20:50:20 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- У вас, товарищ, дети есть?
- Нет, и не будет.
- Почему же?
- Хотел в метро бесплатно проскочить.
- И что же?
- Не получилось...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2019-03-16 20:37:57 | Оценка: 3.33 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Не желающий рано вставать, колхозный механизатор Игнат, валенком, перевел петуха на попозже.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2019-03-16 20:31:46 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Мама кричит ребенку с балкона:
- Сережа, ты собираешься идти домой?
- Да, собираюсь.
- И долго будешь собираться?
- Еще пару часиков!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2019-03-16 20:29:53 | Оценка: 3.67 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Уже две недели маленький мальчик носит на крышу варенье и торты хитрому бомжу с вентилятором.
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2019-03-16 20:27:29 | Оценка: 2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Три стадии опьянения женщины
1. Ой, какая я пьяная...
2. Кто - пьяная? Я - пьяная???
3. На вопрос таксиста: "Куда едем?" - треснуть его по голове сумочкой и сказать: "Не твое дело, скотина!"
Раздел: Про евреев | Опубликован: 2019-03-16 20:25:08 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Вот евреи: страна маленькая, а их вон сколько!
- А это не страна. Это - офис!
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2019-03-16 20:22:53 | Оценка: 3.75 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Будешь сухое вино?
- Почему бы и нет? Насыпай!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2019-03-15 19:49:57 | Оценка: 4.17 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
У мужика фамилия - Пердунов.
Решил поменять. Поехал на Украину, сдал паспорт. При получении читает - Пердунько. Поехал в грузию - Пердунидзе, в Армению - Пердунян. Уехал в Польшу - Пшипердуньски.
Уехал в Китай - думал там фамилии короткие. Получает паспорт и в обморок брякнулся, прочитав фамилию - Бз Дун.
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