Раздел: Про евреев | Опубликован: 2015-07-25 08:30:35 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В магазин приходит маленький Мойша.
- Мне три литра меда, протягивает он банку продавщице. Та наливает полную банку.
- А папа завтра придет и заплатит.
- Ну нет, - забирает у него банку продавщица и выливает обратно мед.
Мойша выходит на улицу и заглядывает в банку:
- Папа был прав, тут хватит на два бутерброда.
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2015-07-24 15:26:42 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Посетитель спрашивает у врача:
- Доктор, а правду ли говорят, что от моркови зрение улучшается?
- Истину говорят! Ты когда-нибудь видел зайца в очках?
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-24 13:46:32 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Придёшь ко мне на свадьбу?
- Да, почему бы и нет.
- Отлично. Значит, с женихом вопрос решён!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-24 13:45:10 | Оценка: 3.11 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
В магазине игрушек покупатель интересуется куклами Барби для дочурки.
Продавец:
- Это Барби в бассейне - $18.99. Это Барби в колледже - $18.99. А это - разведеная
Барби - $199.99.
- Почему так дорого?!!
- Ну, в комплект "Разведеная Барби" входит домик Кена, машина Кена и вертолет Кена.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-24 13:44:39 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Кто такой интеллигент?
- Это тот, кто в темной комнате, наступив на кошку, называет ее кошкой.
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-07-24 13:43:48 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Виталий пришел домой в таком плохом настроении, что жена не зная, что он сейчас больше хочет, легла голой в пельмени.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-24 13:43:33 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Мужик прибегает домой, живот свело - сил нет. Он к туалету, а там жена.
Он кричит:
- Открой скорей, не могу уже - понос!
А жена из-за двери:
- А ты мне сапоги новые купишь?
- Куплю-куплю! Вылезай скорей!
- А шапку новую?
- Да-да-а-а!! Скорей давай!
- А шубу норковую купишь?
- Фф-тр-ффвфуфайке будешь ходить, дура!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-24 13:42:46 | Оценка: 2.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Если девушка не помнит, где оставила резинку для волос, это не значит, что она забыла, что ты говорил ей 6 месяцев назад в 17: 43.
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©ZSV
