Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-19 10:33:43 | Оценка: 3.25 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Жена - мужу:
- Не смей говорить, когда я тебя перебиваю.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-18 21:47:21 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Взмыленные родители подбегают к двенадцатилетней девочке:
- Ах ты дрянная девчонка!.. Мы с папой уже все бары и дискотеки оббегали!.. А она у подъезда... На качелях качается!
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2015-07-18 21:46:39 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Медсестра готовит больного к операции.
- Доктор скоро зайдет к вам, - говорит она ему, - не могли бы вы ему улыбнуться вместо этого хмурого и тяжелого взгляда?
- Я не могу, сестра, - отвечает больной, - я чувствую себя ужасно и страшно переживаю, ожидая этой операции.
- Вы переживаете???!! Да доктор от одной мысли об ней чуть сознание от страха не теряет!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-18 21:44:45 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Разгневанный сержант вбегает в казарму и орет:
- Какая сволочь 5 минут назад сказала моей девушке на проходной, что каждая нашивка обозначает ребенка?
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-18 21:42:30 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- С той минуты, как я познакомился с вами, - говорит мужчина своей курортной знакомой, - я не могу ни есть, ни пить, ни курить...
- Вы так сильно полюбили меня?
- Нет, просто на все это не остается денег.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-18 21:41:40 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В суде:
- Надеюсь, вы знаете, что вас ждет за дачу ложных показаний?
- Да, обещали BMW...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-18 21:40:20 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Берримор, ваша жена всю ночь плакала. Вы что, плохо с ней обошлись?
- Напротив, прекрасно обошелся без неё.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-18 21:38:11 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Мама, я научилась считать!
- Да? И что ты считаешь?
- Я считаю всех говном.
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