Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-08-15 09:46:15 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- У тебя жена во время секса кричит?
- Наоборот - постоянно кричит, а во время секса затихает
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-08-15 09:45:39 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Кто такой Менделеев?
- Это тот, кто водку придумал!
- Ну, а вообще он кто?
- Красавчик!
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Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-08-15 09:45:16 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Жена дрессирует щенка. Муж ей говорит: - Дорогая, сомневаюсь, что у тебя что-нибудь получится.
Жена: - Ничего, главное в этом деле терпение. С тобой поначалу тоже было не просто.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-08-15 09:45:00 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Сидят трое грустных в машине - Антон, Сергей и столб...
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2015-08-15 08:16:32 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Здравствуйте, голубушка! Вы просто чудесно выглядите. Как Ваш геморрой?
- Спасибо, доктор... Уехал на месяц к матери!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-08-15 08:11:19 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В школе на уроке:
- Вовочка, ты зачем грызёшь ручку?
- Ну, Мариванна, это же привычка. Я ничего с собой поделать не могу. Я когда думаю, всегда так делаю.
- Твоя привычка, Вовочка, для школы сплошная растрата! Быстро отойди от двери и садись на место!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-08-15 08:09:47 | Оценка: 3.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Чтобы сделать решительный шаг вперед, человеку часто не хватает увесистого пинка под зад.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-08-15 08:05:37 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Жена пишет мужу СМС:
- Не успеваю с работы в магазин. Купи курицу к ужину.
Спустя некоторое время ей на телефон приходит СМС от мужа:
- Целую
Она в шоке - 8 лет в браке, страсть уже прошла, а тут такие слова. Пишет ему ответ:
- Милый, очень тебя люблю, нежно целую и т.п.
Он:
- Дура, блин, курицу спрашиваю целую брать или окорочок?
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