Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-19 15:19:37 | Оценка: 4.22 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
У моей мамы в телефоне много трёхсекундных видеороликов. Картинка, как правило, разная, озвучка всегда одинаковая: "Ой, блин, это ж видео..."
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-19 15:19:04 | Оценка: 2.56 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Позвонили на домашний, спросили Надежду. Я ответила: "У нас здесь нет никакой надежды".
И как-то жутковато стало...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-19 15:18:35 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Если натянуть нижнюю губу на голову и резко сглотнуть, то можно исчезнуть.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-19 15:17:32 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Одному моему знакомому нужно было вынести диван из квартиры. Он позвонил своему другу с просьбой помочь. Тот приехал уже тогда, когда диван был в дверях. И стал помогать - со стороны лестничной клетки.
Диван никак не хотел протискиваться через дверной проем.
Хозяин изнутри квартиры долго пыхтел, пыхтел, потом говорит:
- Нет, так мы его не вынесем...
И услышал из-за дивана голос:
- Так, а мы что, его выносим?!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-19 15:16:53 | Оценка: 4.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Поел, убрал со стола, почистил зубы, разделся, лег в кровать. Вспомнил, что это был завтрак, приуныл.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-19 15:16:23 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Большие девочки не плачут. Они едят.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-19 15:14:26 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Мужчины изменяют жёнам только по уважительным причинам - либо жёны толстые, либо для разнообразия.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-19 15:12:02 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Дети, а что произойдёт, если пробивающее любой щит копьё ударит в непробиваемый щит?
Класс молчит, потом Вовочка поднимает руку.
- Да, Вовочка?
- Водка подорожает, Марья Ивановна.
- Почему???
- Это мой отец так всё время говорит - у нас вначале какая-то непонятная фигня происходит, а потом водка дорожает.
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