Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-08 10:30:36 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Дочь, ты когда курить бросишь?
- Пап, забеременею и брошу..
- Кури, дочка, кури..
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-08 10:30:00 | Оценка: 2.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Вы отправляетесь в спортзал и усердно сбрасываете там лишние килограммы.
Но вы даже не подозреваете о том, что они терпеливо ждут вас дома,
притаившись в холодильнике...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-08 10:28:52 | Оценка: 2.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Ну и как к вам теперь народ в основном обращается? - спросили 1 марта
московского милиционера-полицейского.
- Да так же, как и раньше: насяльника.
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-09-08 10:26:06 | Оценка: 2.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
1 марта в вытрезвителе:
- Как хорошо, что у нас теперь есть полиция! Вот вчера нас забрали менты
позорные, а сегодня отпускают господа полицейские...
Раздел: Компьютеры | Опубликован: 2015-09-08 10:25:15 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Семья хакеров.
Отец приходит с работы. Сын сидит за компом.
- Что это ты там делаешь? - спрашивает отец. - Ну когда ты наконец повзрослеешь, делом займешься?.. Хватит уже лазить по базе данных Пентагона!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-07 22:53:04 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Едет Наташа Ростова с матерью на бал. Вдруг лошадь остановилась и ехать дальше ни в какую не хочет. Ну кучер естественно:
- Пошла, жопа!!!
Наташа это услышала и спрашивает у матери:
- Маман, что такое ЖОПА???
Ну матери как то неудобно объяснять девушке что это такое, ну она и отвечает тогда:
- Так лошадь по-другому называют..
В конце концов приезжают они на бал. Наташу естественно приглашает танцевать поручик Ржевский. Танцуют они, а тут Наташа и спрашивает:
- Поручик, а какого цвета у вас ЖОПА???
- Ну-с..(хе-хе)..белого..!
- Да?!!! А у меня в крапинку и ржет как сумасшедшая!!!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-07 22:51:00 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
В кабаке пожар.
Все гусары бегают, суетятся. Все кричат: воды! воды!
Тут Поручик Ржевский вышибает дверь ногой, входит и кричит: А мне пиво пожалуйста!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-07 19:22:09 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В родильном отделении: Медсестра выносит чукче тройню. Чукча мнется, и подумав:
- Среднего, пожалуй, возьму!
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