Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-08-17 20:38:44 | Оценка: 3.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
5 утра. Из детской кроватки начинают доноситься всхлипы. Жена - мужу:
- Иди, твоя очередь!
Муж, поворачиваясь на бок:
- Я не занимал!
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-08-17 10:07:14 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
В России Баковским заводом резиновых изделий (г. Москва) и КБ приборостроения (г. Тула) совместно налажено импортозамещающее производство презервативов. Разработанные изделия имеют инфракрасную головку самонаведения и существенно превосходят по точности попадания зарубежные аналоги.
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-08-17 10:05:53 | Оценка: 3.25 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Бармен, повтори!
- Повторяю: в долг не наливаем.
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-08-17 10:05:23 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Один мальчик был таким страшным, что акушер три раза засовывал его обратно.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-08-17 10:04:14 | Оценка: 3.75 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Зачем ты конфеты купила, ты же худеешь?
- Ну... На чёрный день.
- Как интересно ты "ночью пожрать" назвала!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-08-16 11:05:31 | Оценка: 3.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Блин! - сказал слон, наступив на Колобка.
Раздел: Детские | Опубликован: 2015-08-16 11:04:51 | Оценка: 4.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Однажды Вовочка вышел во двор своего дома поиграть. Вдруг мимо него проходит мусорщик и спрашивает, есть ли у них мусор. Вовочка:
- Сейчас, минутку.
Затем он вбегает в дом и кричит:
- Мама, у нас есть мусор?
- Да, Вовочка, конечно.
Вовочка выбегает из дома и говорит мусорщику:
- Да, спасибо, есть, нам больше не нужно.
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-08-16 10:50:15 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Мужик на КАМАЗе влетает в джип с братками... Подходит к краю дороги и кричит в кювет, где валяется джип: "Эй, кто-нибудь жив?" В ответ тишина. Мужик: "Ну и слава богу"
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