Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2016-01-25 14:13:40 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Дорогая ну на что ты обиделась?
- А ты думаешь не на что? Вот что, что ты мне сказал, когда у меня рука в мясорубке застряла?
- … Ты зря себя накручиваешь …
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2016-01-25 14:11:31 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Разговаривают два врача:
- Знаете, у меня был случай, что пациент по всем диагнозам должен был умереть еще 10 лет назад, а он все еще жив.
- Вот видите, если человек по-настоящему хочет жить, медицина бессильна.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2016-01-25 14:11:01 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Зимнее правило номер один:
Не лови снежинки на язык, пока не убедишься, что все птицы улетели на зимовку.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2016-01-25 14:10:11 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Маленького Вовочку спрашивают:
- Хочешь посмотреть на братика, которого принес аист?
- Подумаешь, братик! Ты мне аиста покажи!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2016-01-25 13:48:08 | Оценка: 2.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Милый, мы уже 2 года вместе, нет никаких «ты» и «я». Есть только «мы».
- То-есть, ты хочешь сказать, «мы» потратила 14 тысяч рублей на какие-то туфли!?
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2016-01-25 13:42:29 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Женщина приходит к гинекологу и жалуется:
- Доктор, мы с мужем живём уже три года, очень хотим ребёночка, а я всё никак не могу забеременеть.
- Хорошо, раздевайтесь.
- Извините, доктор, но первенца всё же хотелось бы от мужа.
Раздел: Политические | Опубликован: 2016-01-25 13:41:41 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Почему-то когда правительство называет курс рубля "плавающим" на ум приходит то что не тонет.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2016-01-25 13:40:52 | Оценка: 3.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Приезжает известная рок-группа в Украину. У трапа самолета их встречает дивчина в национальном костюме, в венке с ленточками, румяненькая. В руках держит хлеб и соль. Из самолета выходит лидер группы, подходит к девушке, наклоняется к солонке, закрывает пальцем одну ноздрю, шумно вдыхает соль и обалдевшим голосом произносит:
- Нас так еще нигде не встречали!!!
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©ZSV
