Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2016-02-24 18:30:08 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Почему ты всегда решаешь проблемы кулаками?
- Там были люди, я не мог стрелять.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2016-02-24 18:17:57 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Дорогой, я сегодня вся на нервах, не спрашивай почему.
- Хорошо.
- Вот тебе всегда было все равно!
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Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2016-02-22 18:26:48 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
На приёме у врача-сексолога:
- Скажите, когда у вас в последний раз была интимная близость?
- Доктор, неужели вы тоже думаете, что это был последний раз?
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2016-02-22 18:23:49 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Просыпается пьяная доярка под коровой и увидев перед собой вымя кричит:
- Блин, не все сразу!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2016-02-22 18:04:44 | Оценка: 2.89 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Тёща вспоминает свою молодость:
- Я хорошо помню, как 50 лет назад не было никакой зубной пасты и мы чистили зубы порошком.
На что зять ей отвечает:
- Надо же! Прошло столько лет, а вы всё ещё помните, что у вас были зубы!
Раздел: Детские | Опубликован: 2016-02-22 14:11:05 | Оценка: 2.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Заходим с сынишкой в маршрутку. Все места заняты. Женщина берет его на руки. Я подсказываю:
- Ну, что нужно сказать?
Сын поворачивается к даме:
- Вы замужем?
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2016-02-22 13:35:20 | Оценка: 3.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Заглох дед на запорожце, просит водителя мерседеса дернуть
Дед: дерни разок, фарами моргать буду - тормози
Водитель мерена: понял!
Начал тянуть тут мерена обгоняет volvo ну и водитель мерена не выдержал и дал газу
Проехали мимо поста ГАИ, гаишник в ах*е звонит другому и говорит: Тут короче сейчас volvo с мереном под 200 прогнали, а за ними дед на запорожце, фарами моргает мол дорогу уступи!
Раздел: Про евреев | Опубликован: 2016-02-22 10:38:18 | Оценка: 2.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Умирает Рабинович. Возле смертельного одра сидит его жена. Рабинович слабым голосом спрашивает ее:
- Сарочка, ты хоть будешь плакать на моих похоронах?
- Ты что, специально мне настроение хочешь испортить перед смертью?
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