Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2017-02-22 12:45:33 | Оценка: 3.67 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Вчера, в мой любимый бар зашел китаец. Я спросил, знает ли он кунг-фу или какие-нибудь боевые искусства.
Он: Ты спрашиваешь, потому что я китаец?!
Я: Нет. Просто ты пьешь МОЕ пиво!
Раздел: Про евреев | Опубликован: 2017-02-20 20:32:10 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Сарочка, золотце, ты не хочешь нам что-нибудь спеть?
- Но, Абраша, гости уже собрались уходить.
- Мне кажется, что-то не очень они торопятся.
Раздел: Про евреев | Опубликован: 2017-02-20 20:29:46 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Абрам Израилевич, - уговаривает Рабиновича инспектор ОВИРа, - ну куда вы едете?
У вас же такая прекрасная квартира, машина...
- Я и сам не хочу ехать. Но семья настаивает. Жена каждый день зудит.
- Разве вы не можете повлиять на свою жену?
- Так ее родители мне уже тоже дырку в голове сделали, вместе с ее тремя братьями.
Хотят ехать - аж пищат, особенно их жены и дети.
- Так пусть они едут, если так хотят, а вы оставайтесь.
- Разве я могу? Как они уедут, если я один еврей на всю семью.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2017-02-20 20:24:57 | Оценка: 4.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Прораб дает малярам задание покрасить стену и два бидона краски. Обед. Мужикам работать лень и выпить хочется. Решили один бак пропить. Чтобы отмазаться, намазали морду стоящему неподалеку коню краской.
Приходит прораб в конце дня:
- Все пьяные и стена не до крашена.
- Почему не до красили?!
- Краски не хватило.
- Я ж вам лишнего даже на забор выдавал!
- Так конь выпил, вон стоит - вся морда в краске...
- Не сдох еще, сволочь - неделю назад поддон кирпича сожрал...
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Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2017-02-20 10:09:24 | Оценка: 2.71 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Ничто так не бодрит с утра, как незамеченный дверной косяк.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2017-02-20 09:47:38 | Оценка: 2.88 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Ты чего глаза закатываешь?
- Мозгом любуюсь.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2017-02-19 11:30:41 | Оценка: 3.29 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Блондинки, пьют йогурт в магазине,потому, что вверху на коробке написано:открывать здесь.
Раздел: Спортивные | Опубликован: 2017-02-19 10:01:47 | Оценка: 2.71 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
На ледовой арене стояла такая тишина, что было слышно, как наша команда пролетает...
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©ZSV
