Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-04-07 08:50:33 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Купили два мужика "Запорожец". Один открывает капот и кричит:
- Ой, мотор украли!
- Ничего, тут хозяин в багажнике запасной оставил.
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-04-07 08:49:40 | Оценка: 3.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Укладывая детей спать, мать так на них рявкнула, что даже соседи этажом выше расстелили постель и легли.
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2014-04-07 08:46:34 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Священник в церкви: - Кто будет материться в церкви, того я палкой отхуячу!
- Простите, святой отец, но вы же сами сказали "отхуячу"?
- Получай пизды, окаянный!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-04-07 08:44:36 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Папа, я не могу выйти замуж за Константина!!!
- Почему же?
- Он атеист и не верит, что ад существует...
- Ничего, дочка... смело можешь выходить за него... ты и твоя мамочка очень скоро сумеете убедить его, что он глубоко заблуждается!
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-04-07 08:43:54 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Сын спрашивает у отца: - Пап, а пап, а чего это бабушка по полю зигзагами бегает?
- Для кого-то бабушка, а для кого-то теща... подай-ка мне, сынок, еще обойму!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-04-07 00:08:44 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Продавщица шаурмы неплохо пеленает детей.
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-04-06 18:13:02 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Летит самолет с только что призванными солдатами. Лейтенант:
– Ребята, должен вас огорчить – летим в Афган.
– О, бля…
– Но должен и обрадовать – за голову каждого убитого дyшмана платят по чеpвонцy... Самолет заходит на посадку, садится. Солдаты бросаются вpассыпнyю. Появляются через два часа, каждый с мешком голов. Лейтенант:
– Вы охренели!!! Мы в Ташкенте дозаправляться сели!!!
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2014-04-06 18:09:57 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Женщина на приеме у психиатра:
- Знаете, у моего мужа явный сдвиг. Он думает, что он - это не он, и я - это не я.
- Хорошо, приведите сюда вашего мужа.
- А зачем приводить? я и есть мой муж...
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