Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2014-09-19 18:40:58 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В баре грустный мужик заказывает рюмку за рюмкой. В конце концов бармен не выдерживает и спрашивает: - Что случилось-то?
- Да, блин. С женой поругался. Она обещала месяц со мной не разговаривать.
- Да уж... Представляю, как тебе хреново.
- И не говори! Сегодня последний день...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-09-19 18:39:50 | Оценка: 3.88 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Спокойной ночи, Сладенький! Так бы и съела тебя…
- Тебе лишь бы пожрать!
Раздел: Политические | Опубликован: 2014-09-19 18:38:43 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Госдума успешно борется с бедностью... У депутатов, практически, не осталось бедных родственников!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-09-19 18:37:40 | Оценка: 2.88 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Пришла домой, а на столе записка: "Все хорошо, я у бабы." Сижу вот и думаю, муж или сын...
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2014-09-18 19:12:58 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Пpиходит Маша в пеpвый класс.
- А ты считать умеешь? - интеpесуется учительница.
- Один, два, тpи, четыpе, пять, шесть, семь...
- А дальше знаешь?
-... восемь, девять, десять, валет, дама, коpоль, туз
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-09-18 19:12:38 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
В кинотеатре идет сеанс. Сидящий в зале мужчина мучается, терпит изо всех сил, чтобы не "выпустить газ без звука из тела". И вот на экране с грохотом проносится железнодорожный товарный состав. Под этот грохот измучившийся зритель наконец облегчил свое состояние, состав прошел, в зале опять воцарилась тишина. К счастливому наклоняется сосед и тихонечко на ухо спрашивает: - Простите, ради бога, а вам не показалось, что в последних двух вагонах говно повезли?
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2014-09-18 19:12:16 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Профессор, когда вы первый раз рассказали свою гениальную теорему, вы наверное произвели настоящий фурор, вам рукоплескал весь зал, все рассыпались в похвалах...
- Да нет, мне сказали буквально следующее: "не пудри мне мозги, нажрался - так спи спокойно"
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-09-18 19:11:33 | Оценка: 4.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Вовочкин папа едет в Ленинград.
- Дети, кто сочинит стихотворение со словом "Ленинград", тому я привезу то, что он в стихотворении попросит.
- Папа едет в Ленинград, папа купит мармелад, говорит младший брат Вовочки.
- Молодец, куплю тебе мармелад.
Вовочка: - Папа едет в Ленинград, папа купит мне мопед.
- Не в рифму, говорит папа. Попробуй еще раз.
- Папа едет в Ленинград, Мамин хахаль будет рад. Мамин хахаль наш сосед, Папа купит мне мопед.
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©ZSV
