Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-08-11 20:21:54 | Оценка: 3.44 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Муж звонит: - Дорогая, я в магазине, что брать?
- Любимый, бери кассу!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-08-11 20:21:34 | Оценка: 2.14 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Женщины делятся на два типа: одни прямо обозначают перед вами проблемы, другие создают их неосознанно.
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-08-11 20:20:51 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
"Выстрелил из лука, куда стрела упала, на той и женился".
Аборигены Австралии, перенявшие было этот метод, чуть не вымерли. Все из-за того, что вместо луков у них бумеранги.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-08-11 20:19:31 | Оценка: 4.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Идут блондинка и брюнетка по джунглям. Вдруг из кустов выскакивает тигр. Брюнетка, не долго думая, кидает горсть песка в глаза тигру и лезет на дерево. С дерева говорит блондинке: - Залезай скорей!
А та отвечает: - Зачем? Я ему песок в глаза не кидала!
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2014-08-11 20:18:34 | Оценка: 2.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В кабинете врача:
- Доктор, я пришёл поблагодарить вас.
- Заходите, пожалуйста. Только, простите, не припомню: вы пациент или наследник?
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2014-08-10 15:12:46 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В магазине парень берет пачку презервативов (15 шт) Просит еще дать шоколадку. Реакция продавца гениальна: смотрит на презики, потом жалостливо на шоколад:
- Парень, за одну шоколадку тебе столько не дадут!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-08-10 15:12:09 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Учитель отобрал у ученика "Плейбой":
- Хочу видеть твоих родителей!
- Смотрите... Вот они - страница 42-43!
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-08-10 15:11:39 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Маклер по продаже недвижимости разъясняет:
- Я хочу быть с вами честным до конца. Этот дом имеет свои недостатки. На севере от него находится огромная мусоросвалка, на востоке отстойник, на юге свиноферма, а на западе рыбная фабрика.
- Что вы говорите?! А какие же у этого дома преимущества?
Маклер очень убежденно отвечает:
- Вы всегда точно знаете, откуда дует ветер!
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