Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-11-24 20:22:09 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Отойдите-ка все от стола, я ему сейчас дубиной по башке перешибу!
- Да, Петров, вы, на моей памяти, самый целеустремленный анестезиолог...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-11-24 20:21:50 | Оценка: 3.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Сегодня услышал, как моя соседка долго уговаривала своего кота слезть с дерева. Последняя ее фраза: - Ну тогда, не ори! Вей гнездо и ложись спать!
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-11-24 20:21:31 | Оценка: 2.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Диpектоp авиакомпании выговаривает командиру самолета:
- Я бы хотел, чтобы впредь вы выбирали слова, с которыми вы обращаетесь к пассажирам.
- А что случилось?
- Hа днях, заходя на посадку, вы сказали пассажирам в микрофон: "Прежде, чем мы приземлимся, я хотел бы воспользоваться случаем и попрощаться со всеми".
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-11-24 20:21:09 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Жена в отпуске, брюки все грязные, купил джинсы, весь вечер укорачивал!
- Хм, молодец! А чего в шортах пришёл?
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-11-22 17:24:16 | Оценка: 2.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Решила худеть. Записалась на фитнес, в бассейн и в хор. Скажете, при чем тут хор? Да хоть кружок по фото - лишь бы кушать некогда было!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2014-11-22 17:23:56 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Кажется, я сегодня не выспался...
- Ты каждое утро это говоришь.
- Да, но не каждое утро я наливаю в кофе майонез...
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2014-11-22 17:23:41 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Утро. Мужик с бодунища подходит к пивному ларьку:
- Здравствуйте, доктор!
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2014-11-22 17:23:20 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Жена говорит мужу:
- Дорогой, давай купим автомобиль. Я водить научусь, свет с тобой повидаем…
Муж: - Тот или этот?
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