Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-13 18:36:59 | Оценка: 3.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- В Финляндии штраф за превышение скорости равен 10 процентам дохода нарушителя. Даже олигархи не превышают.
- А я видел там лихачей. Это безработные.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-13 18:36:16 | Оценка: 2.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Слушай сосед! Мне сказали, что ты к моей жене ходишь? Мне это не нравится!
- Не, ну вы там с женой разберитесь, ей нравится, тебе не нравится.
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-01-13 18:35:58 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Здравствуйте, а можно девочку в синхронное плавание записать?
- Конечно, у нас как раз одна утонула!
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2015-01-13 18:35:40 | Оценка: 3.29 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Учительница:
- Вовочка, назови будущее время глагола "украсть".
- Посадить.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-13 18:35:03 | Оценка: 3.29 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Смотри! Я нашёл 10 долларов!
- Молодец…! Зачем ты их выкинул?!
- Фальшивка!
- С чего ты взял?
- Ну где ты видел 10 долларов с двумя нолями?
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-13 18:34:45 | Оценка: 2.63 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Шел по лесу охотник, и неожиданно провалился в берлогу. Осмотрелся и видит: в углу, съежившись, сидит маленький медвежонок и дрожит от страха.
Охотник спрашивает его:
- Папа дома?
- Н-не-ет!
- Мама дома?
- Н-не-е-ет!
Тогда, осмелев, охотник делает два пальца “рогаткой”:
- У-у, зверюга!
- Бабушка-а-а-а!...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-13 18:34:27 | Оценка: 3.43 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Мааам, а эта каша точно не испортилась?
- Ешь, не бойся. Завтра выходной.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-13 16:20:45 | Оценка: 2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Hу просто сердце кровью обливается, как вижу этих заспиртованных животных!
- Да что ты, там же всего три лягушки...
- Вот именно - три лягушки. А спирта - литров десять!
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