Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-01-29 08:46:05 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Зря я вчера мешал пиво с водкой!
- Что, голова болит?
- Да нет, просто сегодня не осталось ни пива, ни водки...
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-01-29 01:12:19 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Легли муж с женой спать, рядом на диване Вовочка засыпает. Чуть погодя, муж говорит:
- Сладкая, обними меня страстно!
- Погодь, сын уснет.
Через 10 минут:
- Зая, ну прижмись ко мне!
- Погодь, сын заснет…
Муж обиделся, пошел на кухню выпить бокал шампанского. Открывает бутылку, бац – хлопок шампанского. Шампанское проливается, мужик поскальзывается и шлепается с грохотом на пол. Вовочка подскакивает в постели и орет матери:
- Доартачилась??? Теперь отец застрелился!
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-01-28 19:08:54 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Федю в классе все уважали. Весь класс знал, что Федя занимается каратэ. Но на днях Феде не повезло. Его побили на улице хулиганы. Они не знали, что Федя занимается каратэ.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-28 19:08:36 | Оценка: 3.38 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Один прятель - другому:
- Ты чего такой худой? Ты же месяц в Турции был. Тебя что, там не кормили?
- Да понимаешь, плохая наследственность, ускоренный метаболизм, тоска по родине...
- Бухал?
- Да!
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-01-28 19:08:12 | Оценка: 3.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Доктор, Вы помните, когда у меня шалили нервы, Вы мне что посоветовали?
- Завести любовника!
- Так вот, объясните мужу, что я не блядь, а лечусь!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-28 19:07:31 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Дама жалуется подруге:
- Хоть бы ради приличия предложил переспать!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-28 19:07:11 | Оценка: 3.56 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Изя, вы любите ceкc втроем?
- Да, а шо?
- Так бегите скорее домой, может, еще успеете!
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-01-28 19:06:50 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Идет педик мимо стройки, рабочие ему кричат:
- Привет, педрила!
- Привет, грязные, вонючие работяжки!
На следующий день он проходит мимо той же стройки и рабочие ему кричат:
- Привет, гей!
- Здравствуйте, господа зодчие!
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