Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-12 18:58:23 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Вернувшись с рыбалки, муж спрашивает: - Кот дома?
- Заходи, не бойся, я ему в магазине кильки купила...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-12 18:58:05 | Оценка: 2.89 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Древняя Спарта. Царь перед опочивальней жены ждет рождения наследника. Стоит гробовая тишина. Вдруг раздаются крики акушерки: - Мальчик! Родился мальчик! Все: - Ура! У царя родился наследник! Слава царю! Слава наследнику!! Радостному царю на руки дают сына. Но по древнему обычаю нужно положить младенца возле меча и игрушки. Если ребенок потянется к мечу - значит это будет хороший царь и воин, а если к игрушке - тогда ничего путного из него не выйдет и младенца придется бросить в пропасть. Царь с волнением кладет сына между мечом и куклой. Никто из присутствующих не смеет и пошевелится. Вдруг ребенок протягивает руку и... хватает ею за кошелек царя. Все в непонятке смотрят друг на друга, а царь садится в кресло и устало говорит: - Приведите ко мне Рабиновича!
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-01-12 18:57:23 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В психушке больные бегают, орут: - 39! 39! 39!
Врач: - Что 39 - то?
Они: - Там 39. На крыше 39!!!
Врач поднялся на крышу. Там стоит псих.
Он ему: - Так чего 39–то?
Тот его берёт и скидывает с крыши: - 40! 40! 40!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-12 18:57:05 | Оценка: 2.67 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Мама, а почему невеста вся в белом?
- Ну как тебе объяснить: ну, потому что это красиво, потому, что для нее сегодня хороший день. Солнце светит, ей весело, она счастлива.
- Мама, а почему тогда жених весь в черном?
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2015-01-12 10:23:30 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Вовочка, почему у тебя в диктанте сплошные пропуски?
- Это, Марьиванна, место для рекламы.
Раздел: Политические | Опубликован: 2015-01-12 10:19:57 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Вчера было совершено покушение на президента Монголии. К счастью, стрела не смогла пробить доспехов из кожи барана.
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-01-12 10:18:52 | Оценка: 3.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В переполненном автобусе нечаянно толкнули девушку, и она
плюхнулась на колени сидящему священнику.
- О-го-го! - воскликнула она, с интересом посмотрев на
священника.
- Не "о-го-го", дочь моя, а ключ от храма.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-12 10:17:01 | Оценка: 3.56 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Что такое "не везёт"?
- Это когда на тебе пуленепробиваемый жилет, а тебя по роже кулаком бьют.
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