Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-17 18:42:17 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Дорогая, вы так часто заходите на мою страницу, что я не могу понять: вы любовница моего мужа или жена моего любовника?
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-17 18:41:35 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Бабушка! Сколько километров до соседнего села?
- Пять было. А потом приехали специалисты, перемеряли и намеряли семь. Теперь ходим лишних два километра.
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Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-03-17 18:41:02 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Звонок в дверь. Жена открывает - на пороге муж с бутылкой шампанского и букетом роз. Жена не видела такого уже лет 20 и от внезапного прилива нежности накрывает ужин при свечах. После ужина ложаться в постель и он протягивает к ней руку. - Извини, дорогой, но сегодня никак нельзя, - говорит жена. Он возмущенно: - Да вы что,... вашу мать, сговорились все что ли!?!
Раздел: Компьютеры | Опубликован: 2015-03-17 18:38:59 | Оценка: 4.14 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Вчера фильм смотрел с ноутбуком на пузе, уснул. Проснулся утром, а на экране надпись «Ваш компьютер переведен в спящий режим». Хоть с кем-то переспал!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-17 18:38:32 | Оценка: 3.33 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Ты где работаешь?
- На работе.
- А что ты там делаешь?
- Домой хочу.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-17 18:36:57 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Сессия. Из аудитории выбегает радостная студентка. Толпа:
- Сдала?
- Сдала!
Следом выглядывает усталый преподаватель и бурчит себе под нос:
- Ну, положим, не она сдала, а я сдался...
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2015-03-17 18:36:36 | Оценка: 3.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В школе я очень не любил читать, и нам задали Муму Тургенева.
И контрольный вопрос: Почему собачку звали Муму?
Я решил схитрить и спросил у отца. На что он ответил: « Одна маленькая собачка гуляла по застывшему озеру и захотела пить, начала лакать лед и язык примерз, она кое как оторвалась но язык остался на льду, с тех пор она могла только мычать»..
Я уяснил суть и на следующий день класс лежал весь, особенно билась в истерике наша учительница литературы.
С тех пор мне приходилось самому читать... Спасибо, Папа.
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2015-03-17 18:36:02 | Оценка: 3.63 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Как говорит один заведующий кафедрой:
- Жёны, увы, стареют, а студентки третьего курса - никогда!
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