Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-21 18:59:30 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Господи, если ты не можешь сделать так, чтобы я похудела, сделай так, чтобы мои подруги поправились!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-21 18:59:08 | Оценка: 2.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- А можно заявление в полицию подать если меня девушка изнасиловала пока я был пьян?
- Можно. В милиции тоже люди работают, они тоже поржать хотят.
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-01-21 18:58:29 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- А что он просил тебя одеть на свидание?
- Знаешь мое платье с полностью открытой до самой задницы спиной?
- Да, знаю.
- Вот его. Только задом наперед.
Раздел: Компьютеры | Опубликован: 2015-01-21 18:58:10 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Урок информатики. Учительница: - А кто нам расскажет, чем отличается «железо» от «программного обеспечения»?
Вовочка: - Так это же просто! «Железо» - та часть компьютера, которую можно стукнуть, кинуть, пнуть. А «программное обеспечение» можно лишь обматерить!
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-01-21 18:57:46 | Оценка: 2.67 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Мужик просыпается с утра, а на груди сидит барсук.
- Ты кто?
- Барсук.
- А чего ты тут делаешь?
- Да на вас алкашей никаких белок не хватит...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-21 18:57:26 | Оценка: 3.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Встречаются два друга: - Привет, как дела?
- Нормально. Полгода уже хожу в секцию карате..
- Ух ты, и как успехи?
- Да так, за это время уже 2 раза успел получить по шее на улице, 3 раза в баре...
- Ни хрена себе! А до этого?
- До этого ни разу: как-то всегда избегал конфликтов.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-21 18:57:02 | Оценка: 3.33 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Теплоход проходит мимо небольшого острова в океане, на котором бородатый мужчина что-то кричит, отчаянно размахивая руками.
- Кто это? - спрашивает пассажир капитана.
- Понятия не имею. Каждый год, когда мы здесь проходим, он вот так же сходит с ума.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-21 18:56:44 | Оценка: 3.67 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Жена что-то бубнит, глядя в телевизор, затем говорит мужу:
- Представь, я, кажется, начала разговаривать с телевизором!
Муж - компьютеру:
- Представь, она разговаривает с телевизором!
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