Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-02-25 08:42:54 | Оценка: 1.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Алло, здравствуйте, скажите, это прачечная?
- Да, это прачечная, здравствуйте.
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2015-02-25 08:38:54 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Приходит физик–теоретик к врачу и говорит:
- доктор, у меня член 640 нанометров…
- что, такой маленький?
- нет такой красный…
Раздел: Детские | Опубликован: 2015-02-25 08:37:14 | Оценка: 2.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Идет мужик, видит - подкова на дороге. Поднял, перевернул - а там лошадь.
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-02-25 08:36:23 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Воскресная проповедь в церкви:
- Сегодня, дети мои, восславим Пресвятую Деву. Я хочу, чтобы вы все прочувствовали ее величие и чистоту. Я решил, что лучше всего это получится на конкретном примере.
Вот среди вас во втором ряду сидит, как всегда скромно опустив глаза, наша Долорес. Мы все ее хорошо знаем. Сколько добрых дел совершила она! А как она помогает своим родителям и вообще всем старикам нашей деревни! Она не пропускает ни одной мессы!
Хоть она и молода, и доходы ее невелики, но она всегда найдет монеты, чтобы опустить в кружку для пожертвований! А ее скромность, целомудренность и кроткий нрав известны всем! Встань, Долорес, пусть все увидят тебя! Но, дети мои, по сравнению с пресвятой девой она просто шл..!
Раздел: Детские | Опубликован: 2015-02-25 08:32:50 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- У меня две дочери–близнецы, - говорит посетитель кафе соседу.
- И как же вы их различаете?
- По родинкам. У блондинки родинка на правой руке, у брюнетки - на левой.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-02-25 08:30:47 | Оценка: 3.14 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- У вас нет колбасы?
- У нас нет pыбы, а колбасы нет в соседнем отделе.
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2015-02-25 08:29:16 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Препод по математике читает лекцию. В аудитории два студента.
Вдруг четверо встают и уходят.
Препод думает: "Ну зашибись. Щас ещё двое придут и вообще никого не останется…"
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-02-24 18:49:18 | Оценка: 3.33 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Ты чего сейчас делаешь?
- Занимаюсь общественно полезным трудом.
- Каким?
- Никому не мешаю.
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