Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-07 12:09:10 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Хозяин:
- Вам грибочков положить?
Гость:
- Нет, спасибочки, я грибы только собирать люблю!
Хозяин:
- Как пожелаете! Могу и по полу раскидать.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-07 12:08:17 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Мама, у меня больше не будет прыщей!
- Почему?
- Потому что больше нет места!
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Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-07 10:22:40 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Разговаривают два приятеля, один другому говорит. Сижу дома,
звонок, открываю дверь - там теща стоит, в гости пришла. Я ей:
- Мама! На долго ли к нам?
- Покудова не надоем.
- Так что? И чаю даже не попьете?
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2015-03-07 09:35:28 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Муж просит врача удалить жене бородавку, которая находится у
нее в интимном месте.
- А что мешает? - спрашивает врач.
- Нет, просто все друзья смеются.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-07 09:34:35 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Как тебе удается сводить концы с концами, Марта?
- Очень просто. Тяжело только последние двадцать семь дней
месяца.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-06 17:16:50 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Объявление в газете: ПРОДАЕТСЯ!!! Упряжка ездовых собак (4х2). Цвет "тундра". 2 дня из Лабытнанги. Полностью расторможена. Состояние "сел и погнал". Заводится с полпинка. Великолепно держит зимник. Все навороты: подстилка из тюленьих шкур, колокольчики, свисток. Полозья обработаны ворванью. Ветосмотр - 2006. Реальный расход: 8 кг костей на 100 км пробега. Масло практически не жрет (не любит). Без пробега по Москве. + Коробок спичек + бутылка керосина + пачка соли.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-06 17:16:33 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Мужик несется на машине с огромной скоростью, наслаждаясь мощью двигателя. Вдруг видит табличку: «Сбавь скорость - 50 км». Мужик: - Можно ведь было просто установить соответствующий запрещающий знак. А pаз они этого не сделали, значит, тут что-то серьезное, и скорость действительно надо сбавить. Сбавляет до 50 км/ч - и через некоторое время видит: «Сбавь скорость - 20 км». Сбавляет до 20. Через полчаса - опять табличка: «Сбавь скорость 10 км». Замедляется до 10. И через час он видит вывеску: «Добро пожаловать в пpидоpожный pестоpан «Сбавь скорость!»
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-03-06 17:16:14 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Дорогой, мне приснилось, что на праздник ты мне подарил колье: - Будешь себя хорошо вести, в следующем сне, я тебе норковую шубу подарю.
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