Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2015-04-17 17:40:44 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Доктор, я очень быстро привыкаю к людям.
- Ну, это не болезнь. Выйдите и пригласите следующего пациента.
- Не бросай меня...
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2015-04-17 17:40:30 | Оценка: 3.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Учусь в меде. Посчастливилось мне 1 апреля сдавать отработку по клинической дисциплине. Принимал профессор-зверь, которому очень трудно сдать. Прежде чем начать прием студентов он объявил, что задаст всего три вопроса. Если студент отвечает на эти вопросы, то отработка закрыта. И вот через 20 минут волнительного ожидания настала моя очередь боли и страдания. Далее следует стандартная процедура записи.
Пр: Так молодой человек, какой у вас курс?
Я: Третий курс.
Пр: а факультет?
Я: стоматологический
Пр: фамилия?
Я: Иванов.
И тут мне в голову приходит отличная идея. Я встаю и начинаю собираться. Профессор смотрит на меня уж очень удивленными глазами. Ну а я что, сказал ему что на три вопроса ответил, а потом просто ушел.
Одногруппники потом рассказывали, что профессор минут 10 смеялся и не мог остановиться. И кстати, отработку он мне закрыл.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-04-17 17:39:53 | Оценка: 2.75 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
– Знаешь, кто я?
– Кто?
– Пожиратель тьмы!
– Тебе лишь бы пожрать.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-04-17 17:39:30 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Пост ГАИ. Стоит одинокий гаишник, смотрит - в его сторону бабка с коровой идет. Бабка подходит и начинает забивать колышек в двух шагах от гаишника. Тот обалдевая:
- Мать, ты что, с ума сошла? Здесь не пастбище!
- Ой, сынок, не знаю, в прошлом годе ты тут такой худой стоял...
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-04-16 18:42:03 | Оценка: 4.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Лес. Узкая дорога. Едет на своей кляче Д’Артаньян. На встречу ему Илья Муромец на коне.
Д: Месье, я - подданный великой Франции, Вы обязаны меня пропустить!
И: Уйди, дурак.
Д: Господин, я - великий мушкетер, Вы обязаны уступить мне дорогу.
И: Уйди, дурак, я тороплюсь!
Д: Месье, если вы не уступите мне дорогу, я буду вынужден вызвать Вас на дуэль и убить Вас!
Они уходят за кусты. Через 5 минут выходит из-за кустов Илья Муромец, вытирает меч и говорит: Хулиган, чуть глаз мне своей проволокой не выколол!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-04-16 18:41:43 | Оценка: 2.78 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Девочки, я беременна!
- Имя уже придумала?
- Имя?… мне бы с отчеством определиться!
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-04-16 18:41:24 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- А меня вчера собака покусала!
- Бешеная, наверное?
- Нет, нормальная. Что я, дурак - бешеную за хвост дергать?!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-04-16 18:41:08 | Оценка: 2.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Если когда-то в жизни вам придется выбирать между финансовой независимостью и ceкcуальной привлекательностью, выбирайте финансовую независимость... С годами она станет вашей ceкcуальной привлекательностью.
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