Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-16 20:47:50 | Оценка: 3.44 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Ммм, гляди, какая цаца!
- Я не цаца, я фифа!
- О, вы еще и футболом увлекаетесь?
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-16 20:47:37 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Мама, папа! Наш попугай наконец-то заговорил!!!
- Вовочка, а что это за трава у него в клетке?
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Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-16 20:47:18 | Оценка: 2.33 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Беседовал с турком, тот:
- Вот, китайцы совсем офигели, клеят на свои куртки лейблики "сделано в турции"!
- Ну вы как-то с этим боретесь?
- Ну да, приходится клеить на наши куртки ярлыки "сделано в Италии"..
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-16 20:46:45 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В итальянском ресторане посетитель хочет расплатиться, но, получив счёт, приходит в ужас:
Десять тысяч лир за один ужин? Надеюсь, вы сделаете скидку своему коллеге?
- Вы тоже официант?
- Нет, грабитель.
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-06-16 20:46:30 | Оценка: 2.86 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
С прекрасного праздничного вечера у друзей ехал в метро домой. Только они, гады, обломали! Разбудили нашатырем и спросили, зачем я держусь за вешалку для белья на балконе уже 40 минут
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-16 20:45:41 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Вчера кто-то обворовал магазин интим-товаров. Судя по украденному, преступница была одна. Много лет одна...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-16 11:44:13 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Дождь. Грязь. Генерал едет в армию.
По дороге видит застрявший грузовик своей части.
Ну ладно так и быть - надо помочь. Вылезли с шофером
стали толкать. Извозились в грязи, но грузовик вытолкнули.
Генерал, вытирая пот и пожимая руку шоферу грузовика, говорит:
- Тяжелый однако.
- Да, отвечает тот. - У меня там рота дембелей домой едет.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-16 11:43:07 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Дело происходит на Чукотке. Каждый вечер на берег моря выходит
чукча и кричит в сторону Америки:
- Нищие!
- Почему нищие, если не хуже нашего живут? - спрашивают его.
- Аляску купили, а на Чукотку денег не хватило.
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