Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-05-06 20:10:41 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Целых три месяца ты не можешь решить, какую купить машину, а мне сделал предложение на третий день после знакомства.
- Покупка машины - дело серьезное
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-05-06 20:10:21 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Стриптизерша Валька из ростовского ночного клуба, исполняя приватный танец, не сдержалась и отхлебнула у клиента борща.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-05-06 20:09:59 | Оценка: 2.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
... А по ночам, пока я сплю, мой кот разгружает вагоны с кирпичами, копает траншеи, качается в тренажерном зале, занимается альпинизмом и совершает 10-километровую пробежку. Ну а иначе почему этот гад потом дрыхнет целый день?!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-05-06 17:50:04 | Оценка: 2.14 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Сынок, как отец тебе говорю, домой покупай только маленькие шкафы.
- Почему?
- В них большой любовник не спрячется.
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-05-06 16:06:10 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Вечером, сидя у телевизора, мужик смотрит на свое брюхо, на свою свиноподобную жену, на их жирную собаку, и говорит:
- Надо что-то делать. С завтрашнего утра все начинаем бегать по утрам.
На следующее утро он просыпается по будильнику в шесть утра, встает и начинает будить жену. Та открывает глаза, спрашивает, который час, и отказывается куда-нибудь идти. Тогда муж говорит ей:
- Ну, раз ты не хочешь бегать, плати штраф.
- Какой?
- Выбирай: в рот или в зад?
- В рот.
Она начинает делать ему м..нeт и говорит:
- Послушай, ты сегодня как-то особенно отвратительно пахнешь!
- Да... собака тоже отказалась бегать.
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-05-05 22:24:16 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Кому не повезло на майские праздники, тот сажает картошку.
А кому повезло, тот сажает печень.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-05-05 22:23:57 | Оценка: 3.88 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Думай о тех, кто будет носить тебя на руках...
Не жри на ночь!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-05-05 22:23:38 | Оценка: 3.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
В Одессе:
- Рабинович, вчера в Оперном театре я видел вашу супругу. Она так кашляла, что все на неё оглядывались. У неё что, хронический бронхит?
- Нет, у Сарочки новое платье.
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