Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-24 10:05:14 | Оценка: 3.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Ковбой на берегу Амазонки раздевается, чтобы искупаться.
- Сэр, не купайтесь здесь, - говорит ему индеец - Здесь полно крокодилов!
- А где их нет? Очень купаться хочется.
- Крокодилов нет ближе к океану.
- А это точно?
- Точно, точно. Они акул боятся.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-24 09:23:28 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Алло! С кем я разговариваю?
- Это обувной магазин.
- Извините, я перепутал номер...
- Ничего - приходите, поменяем!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-24 09:22:55 | Оценка: 2.9 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Мы вчера в бор ходили.
- Ну что, шишек принесли?
- Ага, и шишек, и синяков, Петрович даже ногу сломал...
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-06-24 09:22:15 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Мальчик лет восьми заходит в бар и обращается к бармену:
- Двойной виски, пожалуйста.
Видя, что бармен смотрит на него с эдаким насмешливо-недоуменным видом, мальчик говорит:
- Это не для меня, а для моего младшего брательника, который в тачке сидит, а сам я никогда не пью за рулем.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-24 09:21:47 | Оценка: 2.83 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Встречаются два бывших одноклассника:
- Ну как у тебя жизнь сложилась?
- Да вот, женился первый раз в Питере - неудачно. Второй раз в Москве - тоже неудачно. Третий раз женился в Дубне. Удачно! Теперь буду жениться только в Дубне.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-24 09:19:58 | Оценка: 2.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Преподаватель французского языка спрашивает студента:
- Как бы вы попросили в Париже воды напиться?
- Простите, профессор, но какой же дурак в Париже пьет воду?!
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-06-24 09:19:06 | Оценка: 2.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Интеллигент, разливая водку по стаканам, может пролить только одну каплю драгоценного напитка.
- Почему только одну?
- Потому, что пролив больше, он уже не интеллигент.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-24 09:18:15 | Оценка: 3.57 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Объявление:
- Требуется на очень высокооплачиваемую работу телепат. Куда обращаться - сами знаете.
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©ZSV
