Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-04 19:16:04 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Недавно были в Таиланде и гид рассказывал нам про торговые центры, куда можно вечером, от скуки, сходить. И вот он нам рассказывает, что в одном из центров есть комната страха, в которой за тобой гоняется парень с бензопилой, а вокруг темно. Дети, после такой комнаты, три дня, как минимум, не спят. И на входе висит табличка, которая написана только на русском языке: Актёров не бить!
Раздел: Черный юмор | Опубликован: 2015-07-04 19:15:31 | Оценка: 3.7 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Вопрос армянскому радио:
- Какую мелодию не рекомендуется исполнять на похоронах?
- "Позови меня с собой".
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-04 19:15:12 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Попали в одну камеру разбойник и хакер.
Разбойник: - Я вот сижу за ограбление магазина... А ты за что сидишь?
Хакер: - Ограбил банк на 7 миллионов долларов...
Разбойник: - Да ты че... ни фига себе.. как же ты унес их из банка - денег-то очень много?
Хакер рассказывает в общих чертах о компьютерах, сетях, взломах и т.д.
Разбойник: - Ну ни фига себе, а как же ты попался?
Хакер: - Брандмауэр засек и сработала защита..
Разбойник: - Ах ты... Брандмауэр... Всегда знал, что евреев опасаться надо..
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-04 19:14:24 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Быть бледным в конце лета - благородно!
Сразу видно, что ты бродил тенистыми аллеями, предаваясь думам и неизбывному страданию, а не грел пузо на солнышке, как жизнерадостный крестьянин.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-04 19:14:08 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Вы уволены. За систематические прогулы.
- Можно подумать, если бы я прогуливал хаотично, вы бы меня оставили...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-04 19:13:54 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Теща зятю:
- Вот ты приходишь ко мне и видишь, что обои порваны, на потолке пятна, сантехника разломана... Почему не поможешь, ничего не сделаешь?
- Так это ж не мое! Оно мне надо?!
Теща в срочном порядке переписывает квартиру на него. Через месяц:
- Ну что, зятек, чего за ремонт не берешься?
- Мама! Это ж теперь не твое! Оно тебе надо!?
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-07-04 19:13:39 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Два американца - белый и черный - приехали в Россию. Белый говорит:
- Давай как русские нажремся водки на стройке!
- Давай!
Нажрались водки, негр отключился. Белый взял его на плечо и понес.
Выходит сторож, орет: - Стоять!
Белый говорит: - Хелло!
- Сам хейло! Рубероид положи на место!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-07-04 19:12:52 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Как твоя семейная жизнь?
- Скверно! Жена хочет со мной разводится, так как ей кажется, что я не гармонирую с новыми гардинами в гостиной.
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©ZSV
