Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-01 08:49:27 | Оценка: 3.67 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Купил себе золотую рыбку! Подхожу к аквариуму, загадываю три желания...
- И что?!
- Отгадывает!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-01 08:48:48 | Оценка: 1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Мужчина, а вы кто по гороскопу?
- Не знаю кто я по гороскопу, но жена называет меня козлом.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-01 08:46:45 | Оценка: 4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- У вас какая нога толчковая?
- Обе!
- Как это?
- Ну я же не могу сидеть на толчке на одной ноге!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-01 08:46:08 | Оценка: 1.71 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Дневник холостяка:
- Протёр полы, вытер пыль, постирал одежду, помыл посуду, почистил ванну и туалет, приготовил ужин... Хочется жениться на себе!
Раздел: Компьютеры | Опубликован: 2015-06-01 08:44:15 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Торопить женщину - то же самое, что пытаться ускорить загрузку компьютера. Программа все равно должна выполнить все очевидно необходимые действия и еще многое такое, что всегда остается сокрытым от вашего понимания.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-01 08:43:22 | Оценка: 3.67 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Культурный человек никогда не скажет:
- Я раздолбай и нищий бездарь.
Он скажет:
- Я творческая личность!
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2015-06-01 08:42:53 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Новый Русский приходит к зубному врачу, плюхается в кресло.
Врач включает лампу, берет инструмент, просит открыть рот, и чуть не падает в обморок - платиновые зубы, бриллиантовые пломбы... Врач (дрожащим голосом):
- Что будем лечить?...
- Ничего лечить не надо. Поставь сигнализацию...
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-06-01 08:41:49 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Как вы оцениваете своё финансовое состояние?
- Прекрасно! Мне хватит денег до конца жизни! Если, конечно, я не захочу что-нибудь купить...
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