Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-11-12 21:16:04 | Оценка: 3.33 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Если у вас в семье взрослые дети, и вы с гордостью говорите, что у вас в баре уже год стоит открытая бутылка элитной водки, хлебните и вы удивитесь.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-11-12 20:55:48 | Оценка: 4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
-- Дорогой, ужин на столе!
-- А в тарелку, слабо было положить?...
Раздел: Для взрослых | Опубликован: 2015-11-12 20:54:42 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Требуется 7 секунд для того, чтобы еда попала изо рта в желудок.. Человеческие волосы могут выдержать 3 кг. Длина члена - это 3 длины большого пальца. Женщины мигают в 2 раза чаще, чем мужчины. Женщины прочли этот текст. Мужчины всё ещё смотрят на свой большой палец.
Раздел: Политические | Опубликован: 2015-11-12 20:53:32 | Оценка: 4.2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Яценюк:
- Мы прошли первый этап реформ!
Украинцы:
- Сеня, мимо прошли?
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-11-12 20:48:50 | Оценка: 4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- У нас после трех девочек наконец-то родился мальчик!
- Что вы говорите, поздравляю! И на кого похож?
- Не знаю, мы на лицо ЕЩЕ НЕ СМОТРЕЛИ...
Раздел: Детские | Опубликован: 2015-11-12 20:47:31 | Оценка: 4.11 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
ПАПАТУТ - страшный зверь. Он приходит поздним вечером к маленьким деткам, хватает их полусонных из кроватки. Целует во все возможные места, колется небритой щетиной. И громко орет над ухом басом «Дочка, здравствуй, ПАПА ТУТ!»
К утру папатут исчезает.
Раздел: Про евреев | Опубликован: 2015-11-12 20:43:29 | Оценка: 2.75 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Абрамчик, я купила шёлк, шобы пошить тебе новый галстук!
- А зачем так много?
- Та ничего... Из остатков пошьём мне новое платье.
Раздел: Медицинские | Опубликован: 2015-11-12 08:43:36 | Оценка: 4.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
В приёмный покой привезли девушку-панка с признаками аппендицита. Она почти без сознания от боли. Когда её стали готовить к операции и раздели, то обнаружилось, что у неё волосы на лобке выкрашены в зелёный цвет, а чуть повыше имеется татуировка: "Траву не топтать!".
После операции хирург на её халат прикрепил записку:
"Извините, пришлось подстричь газон"..
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