Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-24 21:10:12 | Оценка: 3.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Поросята играют, радуются, веселятся. Вдруг в комнату заходит волк.
Все замерли. Волк: - Ассаламалейкум. Все облегченно вздохнули.
- Ну, слава богу, мусулманин.
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-09-24 21:09:29 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- У тебя муж кто по специальности?
- Алкоголик.
- Но это не специальность, это увлечение.
- Не скажи, он к этому очень серьезно относится.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-24 21:08:11 | Оценка: 3.33 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Хватит с меня этой любви на расстоянии. Холодильник, ты переезжаешь в мою комнату.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-24 21:07:33 | Оценка: 4.1 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
- Меня комары уже закусали!
- Выпей водки. Она попадёт в кровь. Комар напьётся и умрёт.
- Нет, он не умрёт! Он напьётся и приведёт собутыльников...
Раздел: Спортивные | Опубликован: 2015-09-24 21:05:37 | Оценка: 3.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
Футбольный матч Россия-Германия. Счёт 2:0 в пользу немцев.
- Ребята! - кричит с трибуны дедок-ветеран. - Мы их мочили под Сталинградом, Курском, на Днепре, в Берлине!!! А вы, сукины дети, позорите нас!
Сидящий рядом грузин замечает:
- Тогда у вас был другой трэнэр...
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2015-09-24 21:04:16 | Оценка: 3.3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
На экзамене студент, волнуясь, спрашивает у преподавателя:
- Писло чисать?
- Чешите, если поможет.
Раздел: Про пьяниц | Опубликован: 2015-09-24 21:02:58 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Папа, а кто такие алкоголики?
- Вон видишь 4 березы. Вот, а алкоголику кажется, что их 8. Понял, Вовочка?
- Понял, папа. Только там 2 березы.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-09-24 21:01:11 | Оценка: 3.4 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Я живу в ста метрах от аэропорта рядом с железной дорогой. И зачем мне бесшумная стиральная машина?
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