Раздел: Детские | Опубликован: 2015-01-15 18:36:51 | Оценка: 3.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Хозяйка – гостям:
– Угощайтесь, не стесняйтесь.
Дочка: – Мама, ты неправильно говоришь. Надо говорить, как у нас в детском саду: «Дома будете есть что хотите, а тут – жрите что дают».
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-15 11:03:13 | Оценка: 2.6 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Мюллер выглянул в окно. По улице шел Штирлиц, ведя на поводке крохотную, зеленую с оранжевыми полосками, шестиногую собачонку.
"Странно, - подумал Мюллер, - этого анекдота я еще не знаю..."
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-15 10:21:55 | Оценка: 2 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Есть здесь кто-нибудь из Нижнего Новгорода?
- Я оттуда. А что надо? Достопримечательности показать, пива вместе попить, о городе рассказать, гостиницу посоветовать?
- Да не. Как ваш город объехать проще?
Раздел: Спортивные | Опубликован: 2015-01-15 10:19:21 | Оценка: 2.5 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5 | Не цензура!
До конца матча Израиль-Россия оставалось 5 минут. Счёт был 1:1.
- Ну забейте же! - кричал с экрана телевизора комментатор Гусев.
- Ну забейте же! - требовала толпа фанатов, приехавшых на стадион, чтобы поддержать сборную.
- Ну забейте же! - умоляла все 150 миллионов россиян.
Сборная России услышала этот призыв. И забила. Забила на очередной чемпионат Европы по футболу.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-15 10:17:15 | Оценка: 2.8 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
- Дайте, пожалуйста, носочки с двойной пяткой, Бентли, и огурцы малосольные.
- С вас 300567 долларов.
- Бентли уберите.
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-15 10:15:51 | Оценка: 3 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Иван Царевич на распутье:
- И куда мне пойти?
- Ну, вот же ясно написано: налево пойдешь жену потеряешь, направо - тещу...
- Так что, мне теперь разорваться, что ли?!
Раздел: Разные | Опубликован: 2015-01-15 10:07:25 | Оценка: 4.25 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Директор звонит секретарше:
- Света, напиши объявление, что во вторник состоится совещание начальников отделов!
- Николай Михайлович, а как пишется: "вторниг" или "вторнек"?
- Ладно, Света, пиши, что в среду!
Раздел: Про учебу | Опубликован: 2015-01-15 10:06:30 | Оценка: 3.11 | Оценить: 1 2 3 4 5
Воспитательница:
- Петенька, что случилось? Ты такой бледный!..
- Нет, Марья Ивановна, ничего страшного, просто сегодня меня мама умыла.
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©ZSV
